so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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