Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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