Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
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Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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