Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
