that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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