I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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