Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
