"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
