matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
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I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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