the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
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No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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