i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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