Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
