hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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