I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
