He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
