Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
