We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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