And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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