Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
