So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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