This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
