all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
