Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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