Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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