ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The power of my boobs compel you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
