I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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