North Korea, Best Korea!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
