you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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