would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
