Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
