Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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