Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
