You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
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