Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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