Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
