i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
