She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
where are my eyebrows?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
