I'm gonna have a badass scar
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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