He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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