I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
