Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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