i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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