Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
