Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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