I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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