i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Watching her eat just hurts me
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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