Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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