You can't motorboat a personality
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
