Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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