So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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