he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
